Becoming an Athlete

So I've stopped focusing on strength and explosiveness for the time being.  I need to get fit.  I want to get lean.  I MUST get my knee fully recovered from surgery. And my wife has decided she wants a divorce because she feels she has lost sense of herself and needs the freedom to explore herself and life without a husband.  That one was a blow, but I can show her genuine empathy.  We both had boundary issues and she had a tendency to be what she thought others wanted of her.  At this point, I just want her to be happy; whatever that may require.  I love you, Jaime, but I get that you need to leave.  Go with God. So there's that.  But the anti-anxiety meds and balls-to-the-wall conditioning training have been doing wonders!!!! I'm down to 218lbs and 14.8% body fat.  My goal is 10% by December 21st, my birthday. My mantra for the foreseeable future is this:  Self Discipline. I wake up at 5:00, pray for a while, take my dog ...

More push / pull with the trainer at Gold's.  I have to say, it's nice to do something so different than what I'm used to.  Light weights, high reps, machines as part of a single movement pattern circuit, machines and free weights as part of a whole body circuit. My anaerobic endurance is shooting up rapidly!

I got out of bed at 5:30 and took my dog for a walk.  Nothing spectacular, except that since separation from my wife, and especially since she said she wants a divorce, getting up by 8:00 AM has been hard during the week.  Keep in mind I work from home. I am trying to lead a life of self discipline, with a level of rigor I have not had since I was training for pro MMA.  That was the last time a goal meant more to me than instant gratification.  Now I need to live with that same rigor, minus the fight night.  My intent is to make this part of my DNA.  I want to be a true juggernaut, who does not waiver from the path just because there are obstacles along the way. So while my 20 minute dog walk at 5:30 AM is not much in the way of athletic accomplishment, it is morally significant for me. Adrian

did a simple workout, but it taxed my out of shape body. 2 rounds of: a. 43lb kettle bell swing:  x 10, 20, 30 b. lateral raise with slight fwd lean:  x 5, 5, 5 Only 120 total swings.  Nothing compared to what a CFer or SFG / RKC does.  But it was a good start.  Later tonight I'm going to do some core work and take my dog for a walk.

So it is October, and I have been living without my wife for 7 weeks.  We are separated and she wants a divorce.  I am fighting this perpetual urge to plead with her to NOT file for divorce.  We started out great, but alas, imperfect people can wreck any perfect gift.  So now I am 2 months out of knee surgery, and I am able to train pretty well again, but my emotional funk has been more of a barrier than my physical state. I have been praying to accept that it is over, but I am a warrior and a perpetual optimist.  I will fight for the sanctity of my marriage till the bitter end.  I told this woman forever, till death do us part.  She is going through her own set of emotional dilemmas, and I just want to convey that divorce is like suicide, in that it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. So with all that catharsis, I am back on track with my physical performance goals.  I have lost 25 pounds, and am trying to hit 12% BF by my 38th ...